Lately it seems that there has been one conversation after another about how people suck to put it simply. It has been so long since I have had a real conversation. Is it me or the people I surround myself with? Who is to blame for the lack of substance in our relationships? I love the people in my life, but I guess I've always wanted more than just surficial friendships. You know, the kind that involves the "this is what is going on in my life" and such, but never really gets to the heart of the matter. The type of people who challenge you and make you think about things and have thoughts you've never had before. I feel like my growth as a person has somewhat been stunted by the fact that I'm the only one challenging myself in thought. You can only bring to light so many different perspectives within the space of your own mind. Thus, the reason for my lack of having any worthwhile thoughts to write down. Hopefully that can change.
Growth. Hopefully more than just your toenails are doing some growing. I guess we are constantly evolving whether we choose to or not. Our lack of change somehow changes us. We can resist it all we like but eventually something outside of our control comes and alters everything.
What am I complaining about not having anyone challenging me? I think this is the first time in the past year or so that I am who I am and I'm happy with it. And life is taking it easy on me, giving me a break from all the big problems it likes to throw my way and I sit here and say I need to be challenged some more? I don't know what to do without the hurt and pain and struggle in my life. I may just have to start living, instead of merely surviving. I feel like I have been doing some good living, taking up opportunites whenever they come my way. This is good. It also reminds me of this...
: Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing :
: So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow. But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself. It is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope. That is why I'm singing... :